I grew up with strict parents and a fear of bad grades. I'm raising my son differently.

The author (not pictured) said that she feared near-daily grade checks from her mother.

She's choosing to do things differently with her son.

Pressmaster/Getty Images I grew up with near-daily grade checks and believed anything less than perfection meant I had failed.

It took me nearly 30 years to let go of the perfectionism I learned as a teen.

When I check my son's grades, I make sure to focus on his effort instead of the score.

Sophomore year of high school, I recall sitting at my desk in chemistry class , head down, working unsuccessfully to hold back tears.

I'd done poorly on a quiz in the previous class, and I knew there'd be hell to pay when I got home.

My mom checked my homework and quiz results every day, and anything less than an A or a B meant trouble.

Decades later, I don't remember the grade from that day or even the subject, only the dread I felt.

And the nagging question I kept to myself: Why do we treat a daily quiz as if it's my final grade ? The author said that the mindset around grades while growing up led her to chase perfection.

Courtesy of Karin Crompton.

I believed anything short of perfect meant I had failed As someone who loves a good sports metaphor, I can also see the situation from another perspective.

What's a quiz if not practice? You go hard every practice .

Even more, you aim for flawlessness.