'Nobody is too far gone': Thunder Bay, Ont., woman in alcohol, addiction recovery calls for more resources

Tara Johansson says she was stuck in a "vicious cycle" of alcoholism and addiction for years, but is now helping others seek recovery in Thunder Bay, which has the highest opioid-related death rate in Ontario.

Johansson, who was born in Thunder Bay and grew up in Peterborough, said she left home at 14 and has been in the northwestern Ontario city ever since.

Every time she got in trouble, "I always ran," said Johansson, a 41-year-old mother of two.

"Nobody knew how bad my addictions were because I was a ‘high-functioning’ addict and I was a social drinker," said Johansson. "But nobody drank like I did."

Today, Johansson is over 5½ years into her recovery. She works as the membership and programming co-ordinator for People Advocating for Change Through Empowerment (PACE), which runs a drop-in centre on the city’s south side.

"I’m at peace. I’m happy," she said. "I get to come to work, and I get to tell my story and I get to be somebody — a light to somebody."

In detailing how she turned her life around, she recalled when she went to a hospital emergency room with a subdural hematoma the size of a softball, and the doctor told her she had a blood alcohol level of 0.45, which can be fatal.

"I wore that as a badge of armour," said Johansson. "I would get blackout drunk and then I would go use [drugs]. For me to be alive today, it's a miracle."

She said she used alcohol and drugs — including opiates, cocaine and crack cocaine — to cope with mental health challenges.

She went through several short periods of sobriety but struggled to address the underlying trauma she was facing.

"I was not emotionally sober. I was a wreck. I was angry. I was what they call a dry drunk."

After experiencing abuse from her partner, she contacted Faye Peterson House and was encouraged to join Alcoholics Anonymous, a program she had tried in the past.

"I didn't want to do it because I was embarrassed, I was ashamed," Johansson said.

From addiction to high school graduation: Thunder Bay, Ont., woman shares story of recovery