How to talk to your kids about edgy or violent porn in an age-appropriate way

Recent reports of a 16-year-old Sydney girl’s tragic death by “sexual choking” have understandably been met by calls for increased safety education for young people.

International research shows parents play a vital role in educating young people about sex, sexuality and pornography.

Starting these discussions early is vital.

So how should parents discuss pornography with their children, including risky practices such as choking? What are some of the barriers parents face? Most parents’ own sexuality education didn’t prepare them well for these discussions.

School-based sex education has historically been focused on a narrow range of topics.

Consent education has only been mandated in the Australian curriculum since 2023.

But even today, specialist teachers still feel underprepared for conversations about pornography.

The social media platforms where many young people first encounter sexual images didn’t exist when many parents were teenagers.

These factors combined have meant many Australian parents haven’t felt able to openly discuss pornography with their children – or are discussing it too late.

Topics like sexual choking may be particularly uncomfortable for parents.

How can parents make sense of choking? Choking or strangulation blocks the airways and restricts breathing.

It can lead to brain injury or cardiac arrest.

Bruises may occur but damage can also be invisible.

There is no way to predict when injuries or death will occur, meaning there is no “safe” way to choke someone or be choked.